____________________________________It`s exactly what you think it is.

sâmbătă, 31 decembrie 2016

Din Nou e Nou

Azi e ziua gratitudinii. Aleg să mulțumesc pentru tot tot, indiferent dacă a fost ușor sau greu. Azi e ziua când pun picioarele pe pământ și iau cu mine tot ce am învățat în acest an. Pun puncte, cu respect și gratitudine lecțiilor încheiate, le ofer acceptare și timp celor care sunt in proces.

Mulțumesc.

2017 este anul iubirii și pasiunii


luni, 19 decembrie 2016

What happened these days?

I just got into the core of my most limiting belief. 
It is so limiting that I loose any connection with myself and people around me. 
It doesn`t even hurt because I`ve learned not to feel anything in this kind of days. 

It came into my mind that the end of the year is coming, and some other endings as well. These endings are bringing gratitude. Because it`s a beautiful ritual to close the cycle with gratitude. 

I realized that the most difficult is to accept that tomorrow I will have a different feeling towards the same situation. It just can not get into my mind. But it is like this, every single time. 

Today the gratitude came. And it is so much of it. And it`s so beautiful. 

Today I want to accept and to let go those feelings I had yesterday. 

Because we can love and hate the same person, including ourselves, and same moment, including this moment. And if I start with acceptance for my feelings, then I can let them go.


p.s. I want to tell you a story about the tango, and the guy who looks for love for himself in so many girls. I will. 

duminică, 18 decembrie 2016

Mi-i frică.
A zis că gândesc prea mult.
Asta nu mai pare să fie un cuvânt de bine. Deloc.
Obosesc.

Și dacă las gândirea atunci nu mai știu cine sunt.

Eu am învățat că noi suntem mai mult decât gândurile noastre.
Dar eu am mai învățat și alte chestii pe care le pot recita frumos pe de rost.  Și ce folos.

Ce aș fi eu dacă aș înceta să gândesc? Aș fi iubire și pasiune.

Sunt. Noi suntem ce vrem să fim.




joi, 15 decembrie 2016

Sunt așa zile când mi-i tare milă de mine.
Eu știu că mila nu ajută. Eu știu că dacă cineva ar spune că îi este milă de mine eu m-aș supăra tare tare pe acea persoană, și mi se va face și mai tare milă de mine.

Păi iată imaginează-ți că eu am zile când îmi este milă de mine și încă mai sunt și supărată pe mine.

Și atunci fug de lume, dar aștept ca lumea să vină la mine pentru ca eu să-i pot spune că eu nu am nevoie de ea și că pot singură să trec peste asta.

Ha!

În celelalte zile acest comportament îmi pare tare amuzant. Tare. Dar și trist un pic.

miercuri, 14 decembrie 2016

Givers and Takers

Givers and Takers

This year brought into my reality the me from the side of a giver and a taker.

I would also involve the beggar me - when I wait to receive something, but when getting it, I don`t take it as I believe I don`t deserve it.

Somebody said when we are born the first thing we do is to take. The same person said that there should be a balance between giving and taking in every relationship. And then we have harmony.

I met people in my life that want just to give. They bring guilt. Because once I took something I want to give them at least my gratitude, but they do not offer me the time for this.You would say I can pass my gratitude towards someone else. Yes. Probably.

There are also people that think they can be just givers for me and have nothing to receive as I have nothing to give.  I find myself doing the same with others, and in the end, to realize people I think are so poor would actually reflect my poorness from inside of me.

And sometimes we end up in this circle of giving because of taking.

The systemic work and constellations describe the giving and taking theory.

This is one of my main lessons of this year.

I am sad. Today I am sad for me and all the people I thought I can not take anything from, and nothing to offer. I am sad for me when begging, and for others when begging.

I`m happy. Today I am happy I can accept myself and others who give without taking, those to take without giving, who beg and who never heard about all these theories but are practicing these tools in their real life better than any blogger.

Everything makes sense now.

sâmbătă, 3 decembrie 2016

We were in the middle of a useless conversation when a girl runs in the room, and with her eyes in tears says ”I need a hug”, and grabs the first person that was close to her. The person gave her all the attention she was seeking for.
- ”Thank you”, smiled with gratitude, and left.

And I was sitting there and wondering when will I be able to do the same. To say when a hug is needed, or love, or attention. 

This girl, she just revealed the "new" rules for the game of life. You can ask. 

No need to feel miserable anymore? You just ask for support?
Too simple. 
It feels like others would do everything for myself and I don`t feel that important in my own life.
I could deal with it in a few days, would go through all the stages of misery, and then start to breathe again. Or I could also wait and hope to be seen and hugged. 


There is something wrong with the form of independence I used to practice. 
I still do, but it`s going to be less and less.